I've finally brought myself to write to you.

After 18 unfinished drafts by the way

Hi, my love,

Before you read, if you’ve heard me speak before, I want you to read this particular newsletter in my voice. It’ll make more sense.

I know there's no amount of sorry I want to say that'll make you forgive me for not writing to you all this time even after my countless promises to be consistent here, but please, for the sake of the love we share, hear me out.

I haven't written to you up until now because apart from the fact that I hit writer's block and I mentally blacked out as a writer, my life has been moving from one chaos to another since the year started. My best guess is my village people saw how excited I was on New Year's Day and decided that it was not on their agenda to make me happy this year.

I moved to a new environment this year because of school, and while I'm happy nobody can randomly call me to buy something from the Aboki whose shop is three streets away from our house or tell me that the Korean series I'm watching is annoying her and I should watch news instead, I'm going mental.

You see, I know we've all agreed officially or unofficially to tag Lagos as the centre of madness, but I swear, it's a lie! Lagos madness just has better PR. There are other cities/towns in Nigeria that are complete madhouses, and one of them is this Ago I'm in. In fact, by the time you see the number of mad people on the streets of Ago, you'll not need to be told that you're in a mad zone. If you see them and still think the numbers are not enough to convince you that madness is the order of the day over here, don't worry, I'll give you other reasons to make you believe.

The cost of transportation in this place?? Keke and bus fares are even reasonable to a fault, but you see the bike men over here?? Oh my God...mad

At this point, I need another adjective to replace “mad” as it's not letting you people understand the depth of how insane these people are because how are you comfortably charging 4k for a distance that's not even up to 10 mins??, and you know what's even funny? It's very normal here. In fact, if any biker collects lesser than that, best believe his actual intention is to kidnap you, so he's really not after your money.

Next the masquerades?? Only my friends on Snapchat understand how much the masquerades here have stressed me. Anybody here can be a masquerade. You're a jobless/unemployed youth looking for a less legitimate way of making money that does not require CVs and portfolios; look no further, take out your bedsheets or curtains (if you can get a baby shawl, bonus points for you), put them on, rally round other jobless youths, and enter shops on the streets with axes/cutlasses and ask people to give you money.

Then the beggars here?? My goodness. I’ve never come across so many entitled beggars in my life and they're at almost every POS stand. On some days when I don't ignore them, I tell them that the only difference between them and me is that I'm not on the streets and that if I tell them the things going on with me, they'll give me all the money they’ve collected that day.

If I now begin to talk about the different breeds of ants or the degree of hotness of the sun or how when you mention pumping machine in this place they'll think you're speaking German because they're so used to drawing water from wells, we won't leave here.

However, in other parts of my life when I'm not on the brink of slapping a bikeman or counter-billing the beggars over here, my favourite things to do are eating Amala, buying shades and watching k-dramas (apart from being my favourite things to do, they're also the reason for the little sanity I have left). I’ve also started drinking Capri-sun,all thanks to my friend's(read as husband please) influence.

Then the one I'm most thankful for, I made it a point of duty earlier this year to gift myself every month, and so far so good, I've been doing so and I'm so proud of meeee.

There are other things I want to tell you, like how I may (or may not) be in love with my neighbour, how I have forgotten how to make friends, and how I've resumed writing fiction, but I don't want this newsletter to be longer than it already is, so I'll save those stories for another day.

P.S.1: Most of the people here are generally kind, sometimes unnecessarily and I think it's because they understand how crazy their town is, especially to new comers, and so, they try to make up for it with their kindness.

P.S.2: Above everything, let's thank God for bringing me to this chaotic environment because if I was taken to a serene one, I would have become more in touch with my feelings, and since I don't know how to be emotional or vulnerable in my newsletters, I'd have most likely stopped writing to you. A win’s a win afterall.

P.S.3: I hate to say this but I'm honestly sorry from the bottom of my heart and mind and soul and spirit for “ghosting” you😭. It was not intentional and sincerely, it'd probably happen again, but don't worry, to apologize no hard me.😔

If you accept my apology, send me money. If you don't, send me food. If you're indifferent, send me both.

Till the next time I write to you, bye my love.💙

And oh, let me be the last to wish you a Happy New Year. If you can, write back to me and tell me how the year has been for you so far. Love you🫂